Another Soldier in a Non-Existent War

Dr. Christmas

The Archbishop of York fights an army of Atheists

Here we go again: yet another battle agaisnt a non-existent foe. This time, it’s happening in the United Kingdom:

The Archbishop of York has launched an impassioned defence of Christianity in the face of what he described as “a systematic erosion” of the majority faith in public life by an “illiberal atheism”.

John Sentamu accused Whitehall of abandoning traditional Christmas cards in favour of versions carrying “Season’s Greetings” as part of an assault on the majority faith.

The country’s first black archbishop singled out Birmingham city council, which in 1998 renamed the Christmas holiday period Winterval; Torbay for removing a cross from a crematorium and Plymouth for ending free parking on Sunday mornings. The bishop, who is second in the hierarchy of the Church of England, also criticised the Royal Mail for failing to feature Jesus on this year’s Christmas stamps.

Sounds pretty bad, doesn’t it? Now that Prime Minister Blair has replaced “Merry Christmas” with “Season’s Greetings,” what’s next? Burning Christians at the stake?

The Archbishop blames all of this creeping atheism on political correctness:

More often than not [this is done] in the fear of offending those who would not be offended, or because of the mistaken belief that Christianity has no role to play in the public arena.

I hope that I’m not being too politically incorrect when I say that John Sentamu, the Archbishop of York, is full of shit.

The Archbishop will no doubt be relieved to learn that the Prime Minister has not given up the practice of sending out traditional Christmas Cards, the term “Winterval” has been dropped, and the crematorium has replaced the cross. Also, the free Sunday parking was revoked in order to extract more money from the people of Plymouth, not to avoid offending them, and the Royal Mail stamps are just going through a routine rotation of themes:

A Downing Street spokesman said yesterday: “The archbishop is entitled to his views. The prime minister always sends Christmas cards with the message ‘With best wishes for Christmas and the New Year’. The only exemption is for the leaders of the Jewish faith, for example, and non-Christian countries.”

Meanwhile, the term Winterval has been dropped by Birmingham city council.

Alan Faulkner, the councillor in charge of crematorium services at Torbay when the cross was removed last year, said it had been returned to “where it should be”.

According to Tudor Evans, leader of Plymouth council, the decision to impose car parking charges for those attending Sunday services was to boost revenues, and was not motivated by religious considerations.

The Royal Mail has defended its decision to issue Christmas stamps without nativity scenes by saying themes were rotated.

So the people of the United Kingdom have nothing to fear. Jews and Hindus will still be cremated under a Christian symbol, and next year they can go back to buying stamps with the Baby Jesus on them.

I doubt, though, that this will appease the Christmas Jihadis of the Emerald Isle. Because the War on Christmas was never really about defending Christmas or Christianity. It was always about bullying.

People like Archbishop Sentamu don’t like the fact that their religious beliefs are regarded by most of us as being no more or less valid than those of anyone else. They want to return to the days when they could lay claim to being the defenders of the One True Faith, a time when people of other faiths were not so bold about wearing their turbans and their Stars of David out in public.

Well, I’ve had it with these bullies. I’m going to petition Santa to put Sentamu on the Very Naughty list, which means Blitzen or Dasher will be taking a dump in the Archbishop’s stocking this year.

–Dr. C.